Christmas Eve

It's my favorite moment of the year.  That time in the evening on Christmas Eve when all the urgent tasks for the season are finally done. Food is ready. Presents wrapped. House cleaned. Kids in bed. The room is dark except for the tree lighting the corner. It had been bare until a few minutes ago and now the lights have the gloss of the wrapping paper to bounce and dance off of back onto the wall. 

Something about this scene makes me feel 38 and 6 all at the same time. In the moment I feel the motherly rest from caretaking, cleaning, and cooking until this moment. The rest of tasks done.  Dozens of Christmases past are stored up in this feeling. Bitter cold outside. Warmth and safety inside. No rush. No demands. Just family, laughter, and memories. Staying at grandpa and grandma's house. Sleeping on the floor and listening to the genuine joy of chatting and laughter coming up through the floorboards. Love and comfort all around. 

Every year when we are on the brink of another memorable Christmas morning, this pause, like a slow draw of breath, takes me back to a collection of moments. They stack up in my mind into one great, true feeling about what matters. The world outside is bitterly cold but in the warming wrap of family, there is love. Acceptance. Care. Your existence is welcomed. It has a way of centering you to understand this at the deepest level of your heart.

No other time holds the comfort of the past and the peace that comes in just being in this moment of your life. Living in those times that shaped you knowing that they have given you wings. No other moment in holiday season makes me feel the most grateful and blessed as this night. I hope my daughters will look back on these years and have the same warm feelings and find love and peace in the memories.